Missing Memories
by Jennie-x
Summary: Ianto's forgotten past is coming back to haunt him. warnings of child abuse and rape. Dark fic. Ianto/Jack.
1. Chapter 1

Ianto had come to the conclusion that life as he knew it, was complicated. Every day his emotions changed the stress of his job was slowly starting to take its tow on the twenty five year old, for someone so young, he had seen too much. And not all of that had to do with Torchwood, but thoughts of any childhood memories were buried far beyond the reach of his mind, and that's the way he liked it. He thought of tomorrow and never yesterday, his eyes were set in the future and he couldn't see that some one was digging into his memories, bringing each childhood fear out of hiding, and out for the world to see.

-x-

Jack watched as Ianto walked into the hub, his headphones were still in his ears and every one in the hub knew that Ianto needed to finish listening to the song he was listening too, no one ever questioned Ianto's rituals, they were all part of him and Jack loved every single one. Once the song he had been listening too – The dreams of children by the Jam, Ianto removed the headphones and smiled at the rest of the team.

"You're in late." Gwen smiled, and Ianto blushed slightly and looked up at Jack who was watching with a grin from his office.

"There was traffic," Ianto replied simply, "Coffee?" They all nodded and watched as Ianto walked up to the coffee machine.

"Traffic huh?" Jack smirked as he stood behind his lover, "Do I need to punish you for being late?" He winked.

"Oh I believe so sir," Ianto grinned, he loved when Jack noticed him at work, when he noticed what they really were.

"My office tonight when every one goes home." Jack grinned and patted Ianto's bum playfully making Ianto both laugh and blush, "Oh and Ianto, don't be late,"

"Wouldn't dream of it sir," Ianto replied, and placed the coffee mugs on the tray and walked back down stairs, handing each mug to the rightful owner.

Once the coffee was handed out, Ianto walked into the tourist office as part of their façade the tourist office had to be an actual tourist office five hours a day, and Ianto was the guy behind the desk most of the time, but most days it was open for two hours at most as alien invasions tended to be more important then tourists looking for the nearest pizza express.

Ianto didn't mind working in the tourist office, he liked it, it made him feel that the job he had was perfectly normal because when he was directing tourists to the nearest toilets, or giving his opinion on where to visit historically, he wasn't thinking about aliens, or weevils, or worrying about rift activity, he felt normal. He smiled at the family that just walked out, they were asking about visiting the castle and Ianto had told them the best time to go, they had thanked him and left and even if he hadn't technically saved any one from a weevil or aliens like the rest of the team did, watching a happy family leave the room always made him feel as though he had accomplished something.

At twelve, he walked back into the hub it was their lunch time which meant he would need to order he hated to think how unhealthy their diet was but when they were rushing around most of the day and in some case most of the night, the energy from junk food was needed as well as the much loved industrial strength coffee that Ianto served on the hour, every hour.

"Anything interesting happening on your part?" Jack sighed, he hated feeling bored, he would have thought that working for a secret underground organisation would mean he would have various activities to do, but unless he would release Janet and chase her around the streets of Cardiff, most days meant sitting around and waiting for something to happen.

"Tourists asking for direction, the usual," Ianto replied. "No rift activity or anything?"

"We've spent the last hour playing snap, that's how much is going on." Gwen smiled, Ianto returned a sympathetic smile and headed towards the kitchen to make coffee, Jack following.

"You know if you're that bored out in the tourist office, there's a lot we could do in the office." Jack smiled wrapping his arms around Ianto's waist.

"I never mentioned being bored sir, I believe it was you who was brooding over having nothing to do." Ianto replied with a small smile.

"Can you blame me?" Jack laughed. "Playing snap with Gwen isn't what I call a good time." Jack leant in for a quick kiss and grinned, "Though with you, strip snap was rather enjoyable," Ianto blushed slightly, remembering the night they had spent playing cards and he had lost so much he was left wearing a sock, whilst Jack was still fully clothed, coat and all.

"You cheat, you always cheat." Ianto smiled returning a soft kiss.

"But when you loose, its so fun." Jack grinned.

"I always thought it felt like winning sir," Ianto smiled and moved away from the embrace as he heard Toshiko calling them down.

"We have rift activity, and a lot of it." Toshiko shouted and Ianto never missed the smile that played across Jack's lips.

"What is it?" Owen asked once Jack and Ianto were downstairs.

"I don't know, getting a huge surge of power down mane street," Toshiko said, "I don't know what."

"That's my street." Ianto said and stared at the map.

"Coincidence?" Gwen asked.

"Nothing in this job is ever a coincidence." Jack replied and looked over at Ianto. "Come on, I'll drive" They all grabbed the equipment needed, including guns just in case and headed towards the SUV.

"Toshiko, can you pin point the exact location?" Ianto asked.

"Number 69." Ianto's eyes popped open.

"That's my house." He said and heard Jack laugh a little. "I didn't pick the door number."

"Sure you didn't." Jack laughed, but then dropped his smile and returned to his boss like appearance. "Anything in your house that could cause this energy surge?" Jack asked, his mind flashing back to the incident with Lisa, and he could tell that Ianto's was too.

"No," Ianto replied honestly. Jack stopped the car after parking it roughly outside number 69, as the space was free due to the fact that Ianto's car was at Torchwood.

Jack went to kick down the door, but was stopped when Ianto handed him a key. Jack flashed him a smile, "But kicking down the door is so dramatic." He laughed quietly.

"Yes but Torchwood doesn't pay for the damage you like to enforce on doors Jack." Ianto replied and watched as Jack opened the door. He had often imagined Jack in his house, though this was not how he had imagined it.

"You've got a very nice house." Toshiko smiled as she walked around, there was nothing out of the ordinary going on, so the team had taken it to look around at the furnishings, the photo's and in Owen's case even the fridge.

"Thanks." Ianto replied with a smile, and headed up stairs, Jack following. "If you're looking for my bedroom that would be downstairs."

"I know I already found it." Jack grinned and Ianto rolled his eyes. Ianto opened the door to a room and Jack looked over his shoulder. "Whose room is this?" Jack asked noticing the cot in the corner and various toys. "You've not got a child have you?"

"Would it surprise you if I said yes?" Ianto grinned.

"Yeah," Jack laughed.

"Then no, I don't have a child. Its my nieces room, she stays here some times with my sister." Ianto replied.

"Oh," Jack smiled, he hadn't known Ianto had a sister, he felt slightly guilty, thinking on it now he didn't know much about the younger man he claimed to be his lover.

"Jack the energy surge is back." Toshiko called, "Its coming from the basement."

"Any skeletons in your basement Ianto?" Jack asked with a raised eye brow.

"No." Ianto said and rushed down to the basement where Owen, Gwen and Toshiko were standing.

"Its locked." Gwen pointed out, and Ianto walked into the kitchen and grabbed a key of from one of the many draws and threw it towards Gwen.

"Who locks their basement?" Owen laughed.

"I do." Ianto pointed out.

Gwen unlocked the basement door and they headed down the old creaky wood stairs, Jack at the front. A faint sound was heard from the far corner of the room, it sounded some what like sobbing. "Maybe some one fell through the rift?" Gwen suggested.

"Could be." Jack said, and reached for the light switch.

The basement was cluttered with boxes and shelves, everything looked to be organised, boxes were labelled with various names, it looked like a normal basement, one that hadn't been used in for a while. "The noise its coming from over there." Gwen said pointing to what looked to be a teenage boy. He was crouched on the floor, head in his knees, arms cradling his body as he slowly rocked himself backwards and forwards.

"Hello, can you hear me?" Jack called as he approached the young boy.

At first, the young boy didn't look up he kept on crying, his body shaking a little bit more. When he looked up there was something familiar about him, he was wearing black jeans, and a plain grey hoody that looked miles to big for him.

"Jack.." Ianto whispered.

"What is it?" Jack asked turning to Ianto, who's face was that pale Jack thought he might pass out.

"That's me." Ianto said in a soft whisper before running back up the stairs.

Gwen, Owen and Toshiko all stared at Jack whose eyes were wide with worry, he turned back to the teenage boy, he had Ianto's eyes, Ianto's cheek bones, he was Ianto.

"Ianto?" Jack asked wearily moving closer.

"Who are you?" The boy cried, his accent was deeper then Ianto's. "What are you doing here? You have to leave."

"Why do we have to leave?" Jack asked gently, noticing the fear that was hiding in the blue eyes.

"He'll be mad if you're here." The teenage version of Ianto seemed to calm down a little, "You should go." Before Jack could say anything the boy seemed to flicker before vanishing.

"That was weird." Owen commented.

"What's going on Jack?" Gwen asked as they headed back up to the stairs.

"I don't know." Jack said, he was genuinely confused. Ianto was sat on the sofa staring at the floor. "Yan?" Ianto looked up at Jack and then back down again.

"What's going on?" Ianto asked. "Why was..."

"I don't know." Jack replied honestly, and sat next to Ianto. "Toshiko, any more signs of energy surges?"

"Not that I can see." Toshiko replied, "I'll get a better reading at the hub." She smiled, knowing Ianto need time on his own with Jack.

"Okay, you three go, we'll meet you back there." Jack said smiling at Toshiko as they left.

"Jack.."

"Mm?" Jack replied softly, smiling as Ianto's body shifted closer.

"If I was there, shouldn't there be some sort of paradox?" Jack couldn't help but smile, even when something emotional was affecting him, Ianto was still the smartest man around.

"Do you remember seeing me when you were younger?" Jack asked curiously.

"No." Ianto replied.

"It wasn't you, well it was. But it was an apparition, it was an echo of a memory." Jack said, "No paradoxes."

"Oh," Ianto said quietly. "Why was it there?"

"I don't know," Jack sighed. "Are you okay?" He felt a light nod of the head in his shoulder and knew Ianto was holding back tears. "Want to talk about it?"

"No." Ianto whispered, "Please."

"Okay, we don't have too." Jack said as he pulled his other hand around and wrapped Ianto into a warm embrace.

"If it was an apparition, wouldn't that mean some one sent it?" Ianto asked with a shaky voice and Jack knew he was finding it hard not to cry.

"Yeah." Jack replied, "Just who?" He felt a very weak shrug and a sniff. Jack was curious to why Ianto was crying, both when he was a teenager and now. But he knew Ianto would tell him when he was ready then he would tell, but now Jack would have to wait.


	2. Chapter 2

After ten minutes, Ianto quickly wiped his eyes and smiled weakly at Jack, "You okay?" Jack asked softly, his heart aching at the pained expression on Ianto's face.

"Yeah," He smiled back, "We should get back to the hub." Ianto mumbled and Jack just nodded and stood up, he watched as Ianto stared at the basement, his eyes glassed over. He grabbed the key that was in his pocket and quickly locked the door before moving towards the kitchen were he put the key back into the draw, Jack smiled at him putting it down to another one of his rituals so didn't question it.

The team had taken the car which meant they had a peaceful walk back to the hub, Jack wanted to ask Ianto what he was feeling, but he sensed that the younger man didn't want to talk, and he knew better then to push him so they walked in an awkward silence. Jack reached for Ianto's hand and held it as they walked, receiving a small smile from Ianto. Neither man cared to much for public displays of affection, but when they were shown it by each other they couldn't help but forget about the public and just focus on the affection, which is exactly what Ianto was trying to do now. But his memories were slowly coming back and all he wanted to do was bury them again.

They walked into the hub, and felt three warm eyes on them. "Everything okay?" Gwen asked, her voice full of compassion.

"Yeah." Jack smiled and let go of Ianto's hand, sensing that the younger man wanted to go and escape in the archives or make coffee to calm him down, which is exactly what he did. "Any idea of what's going on?" Jack asked as he walked over to Toshiko.

"There was a small scale rift activity ten minutes before the rift activity at Ianto's place, it was so small it didn't show up on the radar until I looked for it, so I'm guessing what ever came through the rift then is what sent the apparition, but when I've tried to find camera footage of the area, it comes up blank." Toshiko sighed, she hated that her technology was failing her. "There is low rift levels running through Ianto's flat, every couple of minutes they will spike but that's not even enough to cause the alarm."

"Is his flat on the rift, like we are here?" Jack asked completely confused.

"No, but some one is manipulating the rift over his flat. My guess is its the same thing that arrived ten minutes before." Toshiko said, and smiled in thanks as Ianto placed a cup of coffee next to her, and handed one to Jack before silently moving over to Owen and Gwen.

"You okay pet?" Gwen asked softly.

"I'm fine." Ianto smiled.

"Jack, we have rift activity!" Owen called as his monitor started beeping.

"Where?" Jack asked moving over to Owen's desk.

"In the cells." Owen said confused, and they all headed down to the cells.

They stared into the furthest cell in the room; teenage Ianto was standing against the wall, his body being pinned by an older man his right eye black and bruised. Ianto stood shock still, he couldn't turn his eyes away. He remembered everything that he was seeing, it was a Friday night and it was raining, he remembered trying to be quiet so his dad wouldn't know he was awake but his dad came up any way.

Ianto felt Jack's arm on his and flinched away before running to upstairs. "Jack," Owen said quietly, Jack darted his eyes back to the cell to see teenage Ianto's jumper being pulled off him, along with his trousers.

"Stop watching, go upstairs and get on with what ever it is you have to do!" Jack shouted, his body raging, as his eyes started to water. He couldn't watch any more, but the apparition hadn't stopped. He followed the rest of his team up into the main hub, not expecting to see Ianto sat at Toshiko's desk watching the camera footage in the cells.

"Yan.." Jack whispered, Ianto turned the screen of and moved from Toshiko's desk and headed down to the archives. "Yan, wait." Jack called, taking a deep breath Ianto stopped and turned around. "We'll find out whose doing this." He said strongly and Ianto just nodded weakly and turned back around and headed to the archives.

Ianto sat against the wall, he put his head in his knees and cried until he was sure he was going to throw up. He hadn't thought about his childhood in over five years, he had slowly been able to move on from everything that had happened in his life when he moved to London when he was twenty, and now everything was coming back. He took a deep breath, and stood up, he didn't want to think about what he looked like right now. His eyes were a dark shade of red and his cheeks were puffed out from crying, not contrasting well with his pale welsh skin. After another deep breath he walked back up to the hub, every one turned to look at him.

"Jack." Ianto said quietly. "Can I go home please?"

"Want me to come with you?" Jack asked softly, and Ianto just shook his head. "You sure?"

"I want to be on my own." Ianto mumbled, and Jack nodded and watched as a broken and fragile Ianto walked out of the office after grabbing his coat from the rack.

"You can't seriously let him go on his own?" Gwen said a little shocked that Jack had allowed Ianto to leave.

"I can't keep him here, and I want to go with him believe me I do, but he wants to be on his own, so I'll give him time." Jack sighed.

"What are we going to do?" Toshiko asked.

"I don't know, any more signs of rift activity?" Jack asked, and Toshiko shook her head, at least that was a comforting thought.

"We need to find out who is sending the apparitions." Gwen said, and they all looked at her with a 'duh' look.

"I can tell you who sent the apparitions." Jack said as he looked up at the cog door to see a familiar face.

"Hello Jack." The voice of Billis Manger rang out from the stairs, and at once all guns were aimed at him. "Yes, I forgot Torchwood were a bit head strong when it comes to weaponry."

"What are you doing here?" Jack asked as he stepped closer. Billis Manger looked the same as ever, he hadn't aged since the last time they had met.

"I want to make you suffer." He said simply, "What better way to make you suffer then to attack your heart."

"Ianto, what have you done?" Jack said every word he spat was full of aggression and hatred.

"Making you watch the one you love most in the world suffer, and therefore making you suffer." Billis's voice didn't break from his casual monotone which unsettled every one in the hub. "Now, lets take a trip down memory lane shall we."

"Stop it." Jack said desperately.

"No." Billis said his voice strong and confident. "I control time Jack, I can bring the past to the future and you can't stop me." Billis disappeared, and where he was standing was the two people, one a younger version of Ianto, the other a tall woman with dark brown hair.

"Please mum." Ianto sobbed quietly, "Don't leave me here."

"Stop crying what will the neighbours think!" His mother spat.

"You can't leave me here with him!" Ianto shouted.

"Don't you raise your voice at me Ianto David Jones!" His mother said raising her own voice and stepping closer to her son, "You will be quiet and go to your room, you don't breath a word of this to any one you hear me, and if they ask you say mums gone away to look after nan."

"Where are you really going?" Ianto asked quietly.

"Away from you." His mother said, with one last look at her son she turned away.

"How could she do that?" Gwen asked softly.

"Jack did you have any idea about any of this?" Toshiko asked.

"No, I didn't." Jack mumbled. "I'm going over to Ianto's, if Billis comes back call me straight away."

"Will do." Owen said, his face pale he couldn't believe Ianto's life was so bad, he felt guilty for all the times he had been mean to him, but he guessed that was why Ianto kept quiet about it, so people wouldn't pity him.


	3. Chapter 3

Ianto curled up in his bed, the red satin sheets clung to him as he tried to forget everything once more. But the wounds were open and his memories were blood and they wouldn't stop running. He was faintly aware of his front door opening, recognising the footsteps he knew Jack had arrived, it was only a matter of minutes before his bedroom door opened and Jack stared at the small figure trying to hide in his covers.

"Yan.." Jack said softly as he walked further into the dimly lit room. He sat at the end of the bed and felt Ianto move closer, he removed the covers from his broken body and sat up straight falling closer to his captain. "Its okay, I'm here." Jack whispered as he wrapped his arms around Ianto grateful that he didn't push away.

"I tried to hard to forget." Ianto cried, he tried hard to focus on the soothing motions Jack's hands were currently doing on his lower back, but everything was so raw in his mind that he couldn't stop crying.

"I'm sorry." Jack said softly trying to calm Ianto down, because if he kept crying at the rate he was, Jack was sure the younger man was going to be sick or worse pass out.

"I should have told you." Ianto sobbed as he clung to the comforting touch of Jack's great coat.

"I don't blame you for not telling me," Jack said softly, "We know whose sending the apparitions so we're going to stop him."

"Who?" Ianto asked weakly.

"Billis Manger." Jack said his voice full of bitterness. "He wants revenge for us stopping Abaddon." He waited for Ianto to calm down a little bit more before he started talking again. "He knew that the only way he could really hurt me would be by you," Jack whispered. "I'm so sorry."

"Not your fault," Ianto said softly, his body and breathing calming down now. "I wish he would have hurt me physically instead of this, every time I close my eyes I see him and it was easier when I blocked everything out." Jack held Ianto tight, Billis was right watching Ianto now was hurting him, more than it would hurt if the person in his arms were Toshiko, Gwen or Owen.

"You want something to eat?" Jack asked, with everything that had happened all day Ianto hadn't had anything to eat and looking at the pale body in his arms, he needed something to eat.

"I haven't got anything in." Ianto said quietly.

"I'll order in, pizza yeah?" Jack asked and felt a light nod from Ianto. He went to let Ianto go but realised the younger man had an extremely tight hold on his arm, smiling slightly Jack held out his hand and Ianto took it instantly and climbed out of the bed with Jack. Ianto sat on the sofa, his body being held by his arms as Jack was in the kitchen getting them both a drink.

"Jack?" Ianto said uncertainly as Jack walked back in, two mugs of coffee in his hand.

"Yeah Yan?" Jack asked softly.

"Did the others say anything?" Ianto asked awkwardly.

"They were worried, still are." Jack said as he took Ianto's hand in his.

"Gwen's going to be giving me that look forever now isn't she?" Ianto asked a small smile on his lips.

"Yeah." Jack smiled.

"I never wanted you to find out." Ianto mumbled. "You think I'm dirty and weak."

"Wrong." Jack said strongly, "I think you're brave for keeping it locked up, I mean you could have let your past ruin your future but you didn't."

"I buried the memory when I was seventeen." Ianto sighed. "That's when I moved to London."

"How long did you put up with everything?" Jack asked gently, aware that he was stepping on broken glass with this conversation.

"Started when I was twelve, so five years." Ianto said quietly and Jack was pretty sure his eyes had blown out of his sockets.

"Did you ever tell any one?" Jack asked his voice plagued with emotion.

"I told my mum, at first she didn't believe me, then she blamed me and then she left."

"We saw." Jack said softly. "When you left, Billis came and he showed us your mum when she walked out." Ianto didn't say anything just looked at the floor.

"She walked out of my childhood three times." Ianto sighed. "First when I was eleven, dad had an affair with a man who came to the shop, then she forgave him so they were back together. My little sister didn't understand why mum left the first time she was eight, when mum left she took Eve too, so it was just me and dad, nothing happened then mum came back we were a family again. Dad continued to see uncle John behind mums back, but when I was twelve I was sick from school and saw them in the shop, you here stories about tailors and stuff and what they do when they measure you, I guess Uncle John liked it because he was back almost every day. When dad knew I knew, he started hitting me. It was just hitting at first then Uncle John that's what we had to call him, he left and dad wanted more and I was just there."

Jack knew that he was probably the first person Ianto had ever told this to, and so he listened to every word even though it was slowly breaking his heart.

"I was thirteen the first time he.. at first it was every other week as though it was times every second Friday seven PM right after the shop closed. Mum walked in on us once didn't say anything shut the door and left for the weekend, I didn't think she was coming back, that weekend he hardly left my room. I thought I was going to die, but then she came back and it all stopped. Eve was growing up and she was really pretty, she made my parents smile even when the shop went bankrupt all she had to do was crack a stupid joke and everything was okay. Mum seemed to panic the second time she caught us, it might be Eve next so she took her and left. I was left with dad for four years. Just me and him."

"But you're close with your sister now right?" Jack asked he watched as Ianto's for finger moved across his own hand, the feeling that shot up Jack's arm made his stomach flutter with butterflies.

"Yeah, when I ran away I sorted my life out, buried everything that happened and then went to find my sister, mum didn't want to know but Eve did, we spoke all the time, I walked her down the isle at her wedding, she's my family now." Ianto said, jumping slightly as the door bell rang.

"That will be the pizza." Jack smiled and got up after squeezing Ianto's hand a little. He paid the delivery girl, and then walked back into the living room to see Ianto standing next to his television, he picked up a DVD and put it on, Jack knew it was because Ianto didn't want to talk any more, and he understood so he didn't say anything, instead he just handed Ianto his pizza, and they both sat in silence and watched the film. Both knowing that they would have to deal with everything tomorrow.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks to every one who has reviewed , and sorry of this story has upset any one.. **

They watched two DVD's together in silence, Ianto had curled his body so small in Jack's arm it worried him at how small he looked but Jack knew Ianto was just trying to block everything out, and he couldn't blame him for that. As the second film ended Jack looked down to see Ianto was practically asleep on his lap. "Yan.." Jack whispered softly and Ianto who was probably too tired to talk looked up, his large blue eyes full of hurt staring at Jack. "Lets get you to bed." Ianto was reluctant at first but as he felt Jack's arm lift him up, he knew he couldn't fight it any more.

"Jack.." Ianto said it was barely above a whisper but Jack heard loud and clear and looked over at Ianto who was sat cross legged on the bed. "Stay." Jack nodded, he was going to stay any way he wouldn't let Ianto go through the memories again on his own.

"I was planning too." Jack smiled and took off his shirt and trousers leaving him in his under shirt and boxers, he was pleased to see Ianto doing the same. Jack turned of the light as Ianto crawled under the covers, Jack moved in next to him and Ianto's fragile body immediately fell into place next to him.

"Thank you." Ianto whispered before his eyes shut and his body was pulled into a restless sleep.

Jack knew Ianto would be waking up after his memories caught up to him, but he waited for the memories to turn to nightmares so he could hold Ianto close. It didn't happen till three hours after the younger man had fallen asleep, at first it started with his body moving around anxiously on the bed, hitting Jack several times in his deep slumber, and then he started talking, screaming, begging and pleading with his memories. Jack watched as his own tears fell and wondered how many times Ianto had to suffer with his memories in his dreams alone.

"Yan, wake up.." Jack whispered holding Ianto close. "Ianto its over wake up." Ianto woke up wearily, his eyes were red and his face and body was damp with cold sweat.

"Sorry." Ianto whispered.

"Hey don't be." Jack said gently when he saw the tears in his eyes. "You're okay now." Jack promised as he pulled Ianto tight in his arms.

"I know." Ianto said as he pressed a soft kiss to Jack's cheek. Jack sat with Ianto in his arms for another half an hour before he knew Ianto had fallen asleep again. He moved them gently into a lying position and closed his own eyes, but his grip on Ianto didn't loose its tightness.

Jack woke up at half seven to see Ianto sat up in the bed, his arms around Jack's, as Jack's arms were around his. "How long have you been up?" Jack asked softly, sitting up slightly and knocking Ianto out of his thoughts.

"Not long." Ianto smiled, placing a gentle kiss on Jack's lips. "Thank you for last night."

"What I'm here for." Jack smiled.

"We should get up and dressed for work." Ianto sighed.

"Yan, I was thinking if you wanted you didn't have to come in."

"I want to." Ianto said strongly. "I need to forget that everything happened, and sitting here all day doing nothing is just going to make me think more." Jack nodded, he understood where Ianto was coming from. "I'll be okay Jack."

"I know." Jack said and kissed Ianto hard on the lips.

-x-

They walked hand in hand to work, Jack was surprised to see that the rest of the team were already at work but then realised they were all worried about Ianto. "How are you?" Gwen was the first to ask, and Ianto was right she was wearing that look on her face.

"I'm okay." Ianto said and allowed himself to be pulled into an extremely soft embrace. Toshiko smiled at him, she knew as well as Jack and Owen that Ianto didn't like to be mothered, only now they understood why.

"Did you sleep okay mate?" Owen asked, using his excuse of being a medic as a decoy for his concern.

"Yeah." Ianto lied, and Jack just nodded knowing that Ianto wanted every one to think he was handling the situation well, Jack made a mental note to talk to Owen if his sleeping didn't get better with time. Ianto escaped the questions by walking up to the coffee machine, and handed the coffee out with a small smile.

"So, have we got any idea how to get Billis?" Jack asked as he sat down, Ianto wanted to go and hide away in the tourist office but he forced himself to sit on the sofa behind Toshiko's work station.

"No, but I've got him on a tracker. When he came through the rift, he left his own essence behind, so if we can trace that essence through the rift we'll be able to know where he is." Toshiko said.

"Good, that's great work Tosh." Jack smiled.

"Erm.. guys." Owen said and pointed to the far corner of the room, their eyes all followed the direction of Owen's pointing finger and Ianto moaned inwards when he realised it was yet another apparition of his past.

"_Students, we have a new student today." A tall woman with jet black hair smiled brightly at a class of twenty, a thirteen year old Ianto was standing there awkwardly. _

"_Looks like a freak." A boy laughed, and Ianto just looked down at the floor. _

"_Michael, don't be mean, Ianto why don't you go sit down next to Rhys." Ianto nodded and sat next to Rhys who moved over instantly and started laughing with the boy who had called him a freak. Boys behind him started throwing screwed up pieces of paper at him, each one hitting him square in the head. _

"_I know you!" A boy at the back of the class grinned in triumph. "You're the son of that gay man." The class started laughing, and Ianto had looked for his new teacher who seemed to have been watching but not doing anything to interrupt the teasing. Ianto stood up and stormed out of the class in tears, banging the door so loud that the glass had shattered every where, leaving the boys laughing at him. _

They all watched as the apparition flickered and then vanished. "Yan... you okay?" Jack asked gently.

"Yeah." Ianto said quietly.

"Billis!" Gwen shouted, and Ianto turned to look at Billis his eyes full of anger.

"Ah, Mr Jones." Billis said gently. "I'm sorry this has come to this." Ianto didn't say anything he just continued to stare. "It was the only way."

"You've had your fun Billis now you're going to stop!" Jack said strongly.

"Oh no, you've not been punished enough yet Jack." Billis said.

"Fine, punish me, do what you want to me but leave Ianto out of this." Jack shouted, and Billis simply smiled.

"Oh don't worry Captain, Ianto will be out of a lot of things soon." With that Billis disappeared.

"Jack what did he mean?" Toshiko asked gently.

"I don't know." Jack said and looked over at Ianto who was staring at the spot Billis was standing at his face the perfect picture of hatred.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks to every one who has reviewed and everything, means a lot. Hope you like this chapter. Please review. Also, my internet isn't working properly (though it has been promised to be fixed on Friday) so my updates might be a bit slower than normal – don't blame me, blame home choice. :)**

The day continued slowly, there were no more apparitions and no more threats from Billis, it was as though the last couple of days hadn't happened, everything seemed normal. Except every one was watching Ianto for some sort of sign that he was going to break, but he remained calm and collect, though Jack knew it was just a mask and it broke his heart knowing the younger man was hurting right now because of him.

Jack watched as Ianto made the coffee, he noted the look on Gwen's face as though she wanted to wrap him around in cotton wool, Owen seemed to smile a little more and thank him instead of his normal grunts, Toshiko was the only one who acted normal around him but none the less caring.

"Hey Yan.." Jack called. "Where's my coffee?" Rolling his eyes Ianto pointed to the coffee machine.

"You want it strong don't you sir?" Ianto asked as he slowly walked over to the machine.

"Course." Jack grinned.

"Then you're going to have wait another minute sir." Ianto said with a smile. Jack smiled it seemed as though Ianto was already trying to put everything behind him, which worried him slightly as he hadn't had time to heal from the wounds that were no reopened. As promised, a minute later Ianto walked into Jack's office a cup of coffee in hand.

"Go get yourself a coffee and you can keep me company," Jack smiled, Ianto knew he was just trying to keep an eye on him but he couldn't help but smile, some alone time with Jack is just what he needed.

A few moments later, and Ianto was sat on the small uncomfortable sofa in Jack's office, Jack sitting next to him, one hand holding his and the other on the coffee mug.

"So, are you okay?" Jack asked gently, "And don't lie."

"I'm.. getting there." Ianto said honestly.

"What Billis said earlier, I wont let him hurt you any more." Ianto couldn't help but laugh at that, and was then returned with a funny questioning look from Jack.

"Sir, Billis Manger might as well be time, and as much as I wish you could you can't stop time, you can't even control it."

"I can try can't I?" Jack asked, a slight crack in his hero persona but still confident. Ianto nodded weakly and tried to smile.

"He's going to kill me isn't he." Ianto mumbled.

"I think he'll go to any lengths to make me suffer, and I think he will try but I know he wont succeed." Ianto looked up at Jack and smiled.

"Why me?" Ianto asked, he didn't care that he sounded like a small child and he didn't care the least that he was whining.

"Because you're the only one in this team that I can say if something happened to you I would die." Jack said as he squeezed Ianto's hand tightly.

"Jack.."

"I love you Ianto, you know that right?" Jack whispered, trying to hide the fact that this sounded like a final goodbye between two lovers, or maybe it was.

"I do now." Ianto replied, kissing Jack soundly on the lips. "I love you too."

"I wont let him kill you," Jack said between kisses. "I promise." Ianto nodded and wrapped his arms around Jack, the coffee mugs left untouched on the floor.

"Jack we have rift activity!" Toshiko called from the stairs, Jack and Ianto let go of each other and both made their way down stairs.

"Where?" Jack asked as he stared at the screen.

"Ianto's place." Toshiko replied, sending a comforting look in Ianto's direction.

"Lets go," Jack said and once again the team found themselves heading towards Ianto's house. "Ianto stay with me okay." Ianto merely nodded as he jumped out of the car, noting that they didn't need to kick the door open because it was already opened.

"Ianto thank god you're here!" Ianto turned around to see his neighbour, Mrs Kim standing there looking worried.

"What's going on?" Ianto asked.

"I don't know, I was just watching the television when I heard banging coming from you're place, I thought maybe you and you're special friend were you know home.. but then glass was being thrown and I noticed your car wasn't in the drive.."

"Okay, go back inside there's nothing to worry about." Ianto smiled, or tried to smile convincingly, but the banging in his house was getting louder.

"Special friend?" Jack asked raising an eye brow.

"So not the time," Ianto mumbled and followed Jack inside his house, Gwen, Toshiko and Owen following behind.

Ianto thought that he wasn't in his house, he was standing in some one else's living room he had to be. The furniture was pushed over, the sofa turned upside down, his television smashed, photo's that hung on the wall were now all over the floor.

"Billis." Owen said and they all turned to the doorway.

"You took your time." Billis smiled strangely. "I'm so sorry Ianto, I wish it didn't have to come to this."

"Now what? You brought my past back to haunt me, smashed up my house, what's next?" Ianto shouted, his anger finally releasing.

"I am so sorry." Billis said as he walked closer. "I really wish it didn't have to be you."

"Ianto, stay behind me," Jack said and Ianto nodded. "Stay away from him!" Jack shouted.

"It's beyond my control now Jack." Billis said sincerely. "It was always beyond my control," One more step and he was now face to face with Jack.

"Who is controlling you?" Jack asked. "We can help."

"You can't stop time Jack." Ianto whispered, but every one heard.

"When Time catches up to you, you can't stop it," Billis said sadly. He reached out his hand, and Jack was stunned into silence when he felt his hand reach through him, a loud scream came from Ianto's mouth as Billis touched him, the simple touch burning his skin. "Turn the time back to tomorrow and everything will be healed." Billis said before he disappeared. Leaving Ianto's body cold on the floor.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks to every one who has reviewed and yes I'm sorry for leaving you with a major cliff hanger but you forgive me.**

**Warning – this chapter might come across really emo as I've just got in from seeing my mum in hospital so sorry if its sadder than it is meant to be :)**

"Jack, he's gone." Owen said sadly as he bent down next to Ianto whose body was already stone cold, and any colour the welsh boy had was drained from his skin as though some one had sucked the life out of him.

"No he can't be." Jack cried, he fell to the floor his eyes not able to control the tears that had started to pour, shaking hands reached out and clasped Ianto's hoping to feel a pulse, to feel anything but there was nothing. Ianto was gone. "He isn't, he can't, he wouldn't leave me." Jack was crying so hard that it had taken the remainder of the team back.

"Jack, he's dead." Gwen said softly. "We couldn't save him."

"I promised him." Jack shouted. "I promised I wouldn't let that bastard hurt him!" His yelling startled the group but at the same time soothed them, the raw emotion told them that Billis was going to pay.

"What did he mean?" Toshiko asked after a few minutes. "Turn time back to tomorrow."

"He's mad it makes no sense." Owen commented quickly. "We should take the body back to the.."

"No!" Jack yelled. "He isn't dead."

"He has no pulse Jack, no heart beat." Even though it saddened the medic to say he had to say them.

"Turn time back to tomorrow and everything will be healed." Jack said quickly. "If we do that then Ianto he'll be okay." Gwen stared at Jack with sad eyes, she knew that her boss had cared deeply for Ianto but she never understood just how much.

"How exactly do we do that?" Owen asked. Jack thought about it, he had no idea what any of it meant, he didn't understand why Ianto had died just by one simple touch, they couldn't touch Billis yet he could touch them, kill them. But his thoughts were pushed aside when a faint sound trickled into his senses.

"Can you hear that?" Jack asked quietly as if any loud, sudden noises would scare the sound away. The others shook their head, the sound was coming from Ianto. Jack looked down, his body was still and limp on the floor, Ianto wasn't making the sound. He moved his head over his body, and found the source of the sound, reaching into Ianto's trousers pocket he pulled out a small silver stopwatch.

"That never ticks." Toshiko stated, alarm in her eyes. The stopwatch in question wasn't the one Ianto normally used, yet one he had on him at all times. It wasn't plain like the other one, it had amazingly captivating carvings on the surface, and although it was ticking – it wouldn't open.

"A clock that never ticks starts ticking," Jack said trying to piece the information together.

"I asked him about it once, it fell from his pocket I noticed the carvings and he told me he always had it on him, he said that when he was twelve his grandfather gave it to him telling him to always have it with him, one day time will be able to.. save him."

"Wait.. turn time back to tomorrow.. this is it!" Jack declared with a smile.

"It doesn't open." Toshiko sighed. "He said he's always tried, it just wouldn't budge. Kept saying it probably didn't have any batteries."

"We should get back to the hub." Jack said, knowing they couldn't do anything else in Ianto's apartment, especially when it was in such a bad condition.

"I'll go get a body bag." Owen said and Jack glared at him. "We can't take him out on the streets like that, his neighbour will probably be looking."

"So walking out with a body bag will what not cause any suspicion." Gwen pointed out.

"We'll carry him, if any one asks he passed out." Jack said as though the thought was so simple he was disappointed in his team for not thinking of it. Delicately he picked Ianto's body and headed to the SUV, as Owen had predicted the neighbours were watching. Not answering any questions Jack just rushed to the SUV, the others following suit.

-x-

An hour later, Ianto's body was lying cold on the autopsy table. Jack sat with him, Toshiko, Gwen and Owen all trying to figure out what the stopwatch did, and how exactly to open it.

"Ianto, I'm so sorry. I promised he wouldn't hurt you and you're.. dead." Jack couldn't help but start crying again, his shields had broken down the minute Billis touched, killed Ianto. "I want you to know that what ever it takes I'm going to bring you back." Jack momentarily thought about the glove, the risen mitten, locked away waiting to be used, he knew if it lead to it he would use it, even if it was just to say goodbye. "I'll even risk time travel again to bring you back, if it causes a paradox I wouldn't care because I need you Yan," Jack sniffed, he never really had a chance to tell Ianto any of this when he was alive and he felt guilty for not saying it sooner. "You're the real hero here Yan, you didn't even realise it. You saved me more times than I could remember, you gave me meaning again Ianto, and I need that meaning back, I need you to wake up for me. You'll know exactly what Billis meant," Jack was falling into hysterics now, he didn't care that he was babbling, half the things he was saying now didn't even make sense, but he kept talking if Ianto could hear him then maybe he would wake up, he couldn't come to terms with the fact that Ianto was dead.

-x-

It had been a day. Tomorrow had come and Jack hadn't moved, the team still hadn't thought of a way to open the watch which now lay in his hands as he had told them to go home, which reluctantly they all did. He held the stopwatch close to him, and then held Ianto's hands.

"I love you Ianto.." Jack cried, hitting him hard that it was the first time he had said it, and Ianto was dead. A weird sensation ran through his hand, he stared as the stopwatch slowly heated up. Small yellow lights had started to glow around the designs on the watch, with a small hissing sound the face of the watch opened, more yellow lights spilled beautifully from the watch and Jack felt the energy run through him. The yellow lights hovered around Ianto for a few seconds before they slowly flowed through his lips and nose. Once all the lights were gone, the arms of the clock started moving, backwards. It stopped and Jack noted that it was at the time that Ianto had died, he turned his face to Ianto who was still cold. "Yan.." Jack said slowly, and watched with wide eyes as Ianto inhaled a deep breath, his body sitting up in cold panic.

"Jack?" Ianto asked pleadingly, his voice was weak and scared but Jack didn't care, Ianto was alive and that was all that mattered.


	7. Chapter 7

**Okay – This is the last chapter and I really don't like it. But as I no longer have internet I sort of just wanted to post it straight away. Once my internet has come back on (or to be honest we have changed services) I might re do it if any one has any suggestions. Enjoy :)**

Its me, you're okay Yan." Jack said softly, he stared at the watch with wide eyes, he then looked up at the clock on the wall; two completely different times.

"I was dead." Ianto said softly.

"But you're back now." Jack said soothingly.

"But how? Please tell me you didn't use the glove." Ianto said, his tone deadly serious, which oddly comforted Jack.

"I didn't use the glove Yan." Jack said with a smile, he held the stopwatch and Ianto looked at it fondly.

"Its just a watch, how did that bring me back?" Ianto asked. Yes the watch was special to him, but it was just a watch, it wasn't magic.

"Turn time back to tomorrow and everything will be healed." Jack said and received a very confused expression from Ianto. "Its what Billis said right after he killed you, then he was gone." Ianto couldn't concentrate on anything, all he could think about was the never ending darkness. He always thought when you died there was a white light, maybe a pearly gate, but now he knew the reality of dying; nothing but darkness.

"What has that got to do with my Grandfathers watch?" Ianto asked sitting up slightly, his body regaining the energy it had lost.

"You were dead, and then it just started ticking." Jack said as he pulled Ianto closer to him. Ianto inhaled deeply, taking in everything Jack. He clung to him desperately as tears started to mock his body. "I thought I lost you." Jack mumbled, as he started to cry.

"I was so scared Jack." Ianto whispered. They held onto each other as if it would be the last and first time, both crying as they let their emotions take control. They pulled apart from each other when they heard the cog door roll open. A loud shriek filled the air as Toshiko ran over to Ianto.

"Hey." Ianto smiled weakly. "Miss me?" Instead of answering she wrapped her small arms around him pulling him in so tightly he was sure he was going to die again of oxygen starvation, yet he couldn't bring himself to care.

"What? How?" Toshiko asked and then looked over at Jack. "Please tell me you didn't use the glove." This made Ianto laugh, Jack grinned it was good to see the man smiling and laughing.

"It was the stopwatch." Jack said, and handed it over to Ianto who smiled at it and then put it in his pocket. "When Gwen and Owen come, you're going to have to tell us everything you know about the watch." Jack said and Ianto simply nodded.

"I'm going to go and get changed first." Ianto said, and wondered of to his locker where he kept clean clothes.

"What happened Jack?" Toshiko asked and sat next to Jack.

"He was dead, and I sat with him all night talking to him. I had the watch in one hand, his hand in the other and I told him, I said I loved him. Then all these yellow lights came from the watch, and then it opened. It was so beautiful Tosh. The lights went into him, and he woke up." Toshiko smiled, she knew that the two had a very intimate relationship but she had always thought the Captain had grown too old and too tired of love. She was glad she was wrong.

"Does he know you said it?" Toshiko asked as the cog door rolled open once more and Owen and Gwen walked in.

"I don't think so." Jack smiled and then stood up to greet the rest of the team. Just as Ianto walked in wearing a pair of faded jeans and a black hooded jumper; obviously all that was left in his locker.

"Ianto?" Gwen shrieked. Owen stood silently staring with wide eyes. Gwen hugged Ianto awkwardly, they weren't exactly friends, though he didn't really hate her.

"Board room people." Jack grinned.

"I'll make the coffee." Ianto smiled, surprised when he saw Jack follow.

"Did you see Owen's face?" Jack smiled as he wrapped his arms around Ianto once more. Ianto smiled and pressed a soft kiss to Jack's lips. Jack deepened the kiss as he moved Ianto's body closer. Ianto broke the kiss but stayed close to Jack.

Five minutes later they were sat in the board room, Ianto handing out coffee to every one. "How are you feeling?" Owen asked, he still couldn't get his head around the fact that Ianto was alive, he had done the examination himself – the man was dead; but here is he alive.

"Fine." Ianto smiled and sat down in his normal seat next to Jack and opposite Owen who still didn't look to convinced. "When we're finished here would you like to do a check on me?" Ianto asked with a small smile.

"Actually I would." Owen said and Ianto just nodded, knowing once Owen had done the examination he would stop looking at him like he was a freak.

"So tell us about the watch." Jack smiled.

"My grandfather gave it to me when I was fourteen, he said his father had given it to him, and so on. Told me to keep it with me at all times, that one day it will be able to save me. When he gave it to me it closed and stopped ticking. He just smiled at me, told me he loved me and to go to bed. The next day he was dead." Ianto mumbled. "That's all there is."

"So it worked before you had it?" Toshiko asked.

"Yes, I remember a few weeks before he gave it to me it ticked louder than normal, and he'd always look at it. He never went any where without it, and told me to do the same."

"Yan, how did he die?" Owen asked softly.

"They never found a cause." Ianto said. "Just he went to sleep one night, didn't wake up the next. It was as though his heart just stopped, he was healthy never had anything wrong with him that's why the doctors were so confused."

"When you died, we couldn't find a cause for it. It was like your heart just stopped." Owen said looking over at Jack.

"How did you come back Ianto?" Gwen asked.

"I held the watch and his hand at the same time, and then these lights glowed and went into him, then he woke up." Jack said looking over at Toshiko who smiled slightly.

"But that doesn't make any sense." Owen stated. "What were the lights?"

"Time." Ianto said simply.

"Well done Mr Jones." They all turned around to see Billis Manger staring at them. "I knew it would be you to put the riddle together."

"You killed my grandfather." Ianto said sadly.

"Yes." Billis nodded. "Though, it was a shame he was a great man and a great friend."

"Why did you do it?" Ianto asked there was no venom in his voice it was emotionless as though he wasn't killing to the man who killed the one person in the world who looked after him, but a stranger in the street.

"His time was up." Billis said. "Like yours was yesterday. I didn't know it was you who held the watch."

"So why kill him if you didn't know?" Jack said standing up to face Billis, his eyes full of anger.

"To make you suffer. I didn't know who Ianto was at the time, though I had a fair idea."

"What do you mean who he was?" Gwen asked,

"Your grandfather was like me, as was his father and his father before that, and as you will be," Billis said with a small smile. "We keep time." Billis watched as Ianto's face told him he understood before continuing. "There are thousands of us, all over the world, past present and future. All with an important role in the universe. We stop time from moving too quickly."

"Why Ianto?" Jack asked strongly.

"Its in his blood." Billis said. "Your Grandfather broke the rules giving you that watch at such a young age, you were meant to get it after he died the watch was meant to find you. It being given to you so early on means it has grown to you."

"What the hell does that mean?" Owen asked loudly.

"In simple terms the watch has grown to like Ianto. It sounds weird but there is no other way to say this that will help you to understand." Owen looked offended at that comment but kept his mouth shut. "The watch has given you a second chance. If it was given after the death of your grandfather than you would be dead and you would be with us right now. But you've got another chance. But when it stops ticking, you'll pass it on and you will join us."

"I still don't understand." Gwen mumbled.

"Its not your place to understand, Ianto does and that right now is what is important."

"What happens now?" Jack asked the anger slowly leaving his eyes.

"Time will always pass us Captain. Like you've pass us so many times, you shouldn't be here. You're a man from the future stuck in the past. A fixed point. We keep the time, make sure people belong in the right times. I will see you soon Ianto Jones." The figure of Billis Manger slowly faded away in the yellow lights.

"That man seriously freaks me out." Owen mumbled.

"You're not the only one." Ianto smiled.

"What happens now Jack?" Gwen asked looking past Ianto as though he wasn't really there.

"We carry on." Jack said simply and smiled at Ianto, just as the rift monitor started beeping. Toshiko, Gwen and Owen ran down to have a look, Ianto went to move but was pulled back by Jack.

"Jack we got a weevil sighting." Gwen called.

"You three go!" Jack shouted. "Be careful."

"Jack. Maybe you should go too.."

"I don't fancy going on a wild goose chase. This little wrist strap does more than it says on the package." Jack smiled and Ianto just shook his head though he was still smiling. "You okay?"

"Yeah." Ianto smiled. "Its been a really long week,"

"I know. With everything that happened, us seeing your past. I know you didn't want any of us to know, so if you want them to forget, me to forget."

"No." Ianto said quickly. "Its all part of who I am, if it didn't happen then I don't think I'd be here today."

"Okay." Jack smiled. "Everything that Billis said, its a life time away. I know you'll be thinking about it a lot, but I want you to know that right now, right here that's what matters. This life, not the next."

"I know." Ianto said as he slipped his hands into Jacks. "And for the record. I love you too,"


End file.
